PROCESS OF ELUCIDATION

PROCESS OF ELUCIDATION: One of the more absurd of Yogi Berra's non-sequiturs was that "nobody goes there any more- it's too crowded."

When it comes the field of "acceptable" candidates in this year's elections the ballot is anything but crowded. That's the case up and down the ticket on Kaua`i but it's exemplified by the County Council election where a record low nine people are running for seven seats.

The key word there is "acceptable" because the way democracy has combined with capitalism in America we've managed to define "acceptable" as "corporate-funded, duopoly selected."

But that has little or nothing to do with the reason why Hawai`i in particular is at or near the bottom of the list in voter turnout. This week a six-part series by blogger/journalist Ian Lind in Civil Beat tried to explain why through statistical gymnastics that, while we're sure are true, seemed anything but insightful.

One thing missing in Lind's report is the "sun and surf" factor.

Stay with us. Hawai`i is the home of the tourism-industry crummy jobs that cause all members of the family to work at least two close-to-minimum-wage jobs apiece. With the cost of living higher than other places in the US, people just don't have time to pay attention to politics and certainly want to spend their leisure time doing something other than figuring out who to vote for.

Even though we political junkies don't see the logic in that, it makes more sense when you add in that "immigrants" don't exactly flock here to get involved in politics, which also goes for those born and raised here who have usually chosen to "stay home" after they finish school.

Most people are here one way or another because they can surf, hike, snorkel, fish and do all the things that make living in the islands unique. If anything, they came here- or stay here- because they are actually running away from places obsessed with politics and the like.

Then of course there are also those who aren't particularly interested in participating in what they see as the central activity that an "occupying nation" uses to justify their military control and "make the world safe for democracy." Though it's not a vast number who think that way, it's more than most people think.

But if you really want to know why few among the remaining are voting it may be the simplest reason of all: there's "no one" running.

Why vote when all the Democrats and Republicans are greedy power mongers who are all, in one way or another, on the take?

While there are exceptions that prove the rule like Mina Morita or Gary Hooser (who, maybe not so coincidentally, are both currently out of office although Hooser is seeking to return to the county council) it's been like pulling proverbial teeth to get people to run for office these days.

We just spent a year and a half recruiting candidates and didn’t find a one. We even lost a couple at the last second.

We approached almost every "community activist" we know, even some we disagree with because we knew that at least they fight for things they actually believe in. And every one said "thanks but no thanks," some adding "why in the hell would I want to do that?"

Indeed running for office is a daunting proposition. Just the prospect of having to ask people for money makes many back off. The idea of spending every spare moment for a year going door to door, attending every gathering and being subjected to more scrutiny than a prize pig at an auction is not one that makes one's heart go pitter-patter.

Surprisingly many say that actually serving- crafting legislation, guiding it through, going to meetings and all that intriguing stuff- is what they want to avoid because they'd have to deal with all the a-holes in office who, for the most part, actually enjoy all the back-stabbing political gamesmanship that got them into office and keeps them there.

Can you imagine having to sit there with Mel Rapozo or Dickie Chang- and not just sit there at a meeting but actually negotiate with and schmooze them? Are you going to listen to Jay Furfaro go on endlessly about his delusions of success or try to figure out why Kipukai Kuali`i would be aligning himself with Rapozo and the Queen of Spleen, Prosecutor Shaylene Iseri-Carvalho- and then actually come up with equally sinister plans to oppose their evil schemes?

What fun. Who'd wanna go surfing when you can listen to a three hour report on some incomprehensible, unattainable, feel-good plan to spend a million bucks to spruce up the county building parking lot?

So there you have it- an electorate that's already got better things to do and actually came or stayed here to get away from the backstabbing political culture on the mainland. And if they do take a look at the local political culture they see nothing but a bunch of moronic and vicious bozos appealing to what's left of the electorate. And those that do vote do so on the basis of who went to school with whom and whether they attend the same church... or cock fight.

And it's only getting worse. Don't forget the last mayoral election where the only one to run against a punch-drunk, concussion-syndrome-addled, ex-football player was a well-meaning too-smart-for-the-job, haole lady who'd lived here all of ten minutes. And this year, even with the criminally insane, moist-Malaprop-spewing Iseri running for prosecuting attorney against what appears to be a smart, honest and upstanding progressive apparently actually interested in serving justice (imagine that), it's still a race too close to call because she grew up here and he didn't.

It doesn't get any better with our choices for US congress where unlike the Kaua`i state legislative contest, there is one. For the U.S. house it's a war-obsessed vet who has gotten non-religion and is suddenly bigoted-no-more, running against a slimy pay-for-play veteran who has as much substance as dark matter. And for senate it's a pseudo-progressive against a pseudo-Democrat in the primaries and the winner gets to take on the Stepford Wife, chameleon ex-governor who has the unique talent for speaking out of all three sides of her mouth.

Those are our choices? Well actually not. Because even though we have convinced ourselves that we can only vote for one of them, there are others on the ballot, many of whom aren't corrupt caricatures of public servants. It's just that we've convinced ourselves we're not allowed to vote for them.

The fact is that people believe in the cockamamie "two party system" that has created a fraudulent scheme where legalized bribery is compulsory, corporate billionaires do the bribing and everyone is too intimidated to vote for the candidate they actually like because no one else will.

Maybe Yogi had it right: there's nobody running- the field is too crowded. In other words, why would you vote for Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein? She's too popular.

YOUR WRONG TO VOTE

YOUR WRONG TO VOTE: Age has benefits. The "been there done that" factor can halve research time.

Unfortunately when combined with an inevitable senior moment it can lead to misinformation. That's what led us to wrongly tell our readers that the race for prosecuting attorney would be decided on August 11 because only two people are running and one, by definition, is bound to get "50% plus 1."

That's how it has been in every election for prosecuting attorney (PA) on Kaua`i. But now for the first time a charter amendment that was passed by voters in 2008 will take effect for the PA election. And of course, being Kaua`i, it is required that something about it be absurd so the provision essentially says that even though there are only two candidates they will appear on "the first nonpartisan election" ballot for no particular reason other than that is the way the provision was written.

The impetus for the amendment was the 2006 election where, in what is commonly called the "primary" election, then-Mayor Bryan Baptiste ran for reelection and got 50% plus exactly four votes, beating out four opponents in what turned out to be the closest election in Kaua`i history.

It's understandable that with five candidates people just didn't show up for the primaries thinking no one would get the "50% plus 1" needed to be elected outright, without the top two going on to the November election.

They felt cheated when Baptiste got 8,173 votes and chief challenger, former Councilmember Jesse Fukushima came in with 4,725 votes, because when the other three- John Hoff, Bruce Pleas and Janee Taylor- got 1,984, 1,083 and 377 respectively it added up to 8169 votes for the others... four votes shy of the amount that would have prompted a November showdown between Baptiste and Fukushima.

It seemed like a no-brainer- change the charter so that no matter what the vote totals were,d the top two finishers in the primary would meet in November.

So the attorneys (some hired specifically to make sure the amendment did what the charter review commission wanted it to do) worded the amendment this way:

Article I The County And Its Government
Section 1.03. County Elections.
(C)1. Offices of the Mayor, Prosecuting Attorney and Council members to be elected by districts, if any. In the case of the offices of mayor, prosecuting attorney, or any council members to be elected by districts, the names of the two candidates receiving the highest number of votes for these offices in the first nonpartisan election shall be placed on the ballot for the second nonpartisan election. However, if there is only one candidate for each of said offices, such candidate shall be elected. (Amended 2008)

There's one problem with that. It works fine when there are three or more candidates because no matter what "the names of the two candidates receiving the highest number of votes" go on to November.

But the current charter failed to recognize what would happen if there are only two candidates. There are two choices on what the new law could and should do in that case. It could declare that the election- the one that actually elects the candidate- be held during "the first nonpartisan election," unless there is an actual tie- exactly 50% for each in which case they'd go on to November. Or the names could be left off the "primary" ballot- since it's just a waste of paper and ink since it won't determine anything anyway- and let the actual election to be held in November.

But, this being Kaua`i, a third choice was selected and now, for no particular reason, the two candidates for PA- incumbent Shaylene Iseri-Carvalho and challenger Deputy County Attorney Justin Kollar- will appear on the ballot in both August and September.

Which means that there are no meaningful Kaua`i-only, non-partisan races whatsoever on the ballot in August. Although there are partisan Democratic primary elections for US senate and house of representatives, the races for council and prosecuting attorney will appear on the ballot even though the results are moot and all will go on to November.

The same will be true for any future mayoral election and for council races if districting is ever implemented.

Kaua`i has always been "A Separate Kingdom" and, when it comes to writing our laws, a separate reality too.

LET'S GO OUT TO THE LOBBY AND GET OURSELVES A WRIT

LET'S GO OUT TO THE LOBBY AND GET OURSELVES A WRIT: The news that the Kaua`i Police Commission has filed suit against Mayor Bernard Carvalho Jr. to have a court determine whether hizzonah had the power to suspend Police Chief Darryl Perry in February is no surprise.

On March 23 we noted that:

The agenda for next Wednesday's council meeting contains the following item:

C 2012-98 Request (03/13/2012) from the Police Commission for authorization to expend funds up to $10,000.00 to retain special counsel to represent the Police Commission in filing a complaint with the Fifth Circuit Court and asking for a declaratory judgment as to who has the authority to supervise and/or discipline the Chief of Police.

In noting the appropriation we said that:

People are always claiming "I hate to tell you 'I told you so,' but..."

Yet who are we kidding?- we love to do it.

So today we'll set up what will most assuredly be a little "see?" moment, sometime in the near future.

So call this Act 2 of this would-be three-act melodrama that, as we noted, will no doubt finish with a somewhat existential ending where, when it’s all over, the characters wind up right were they started.

Because we're willing to bet the farm that neither of the two 5th Circuit Count judges, Randall Valenciano and Kathleen Watanabe, are going to rule on what is essentially a political matter- a matter that the council could, according to the county charter, decide by themselves if they had once iota of election year political will.

Yeah- that'll happen... about the time Kapa`a traffic is a quaint anachronism.

Both judges have shown a propensity for "punting" whenever they possibly can. As we previously pointed out:

Watenabe has a history of punting these kinds of things. For example, in her decisions regarding various cases of disturbances of `iwi kupuna- the bones of native Hawaiians- by developers, she adamantly refused to rule, saying that the laws and regulations regarding the individual island burial councils and the State Historical Preservation Department (SHPD) that oversees the process, are unclear and that the legislature needs to clear thing up.

Our description is an oversimplification. But what is clear is that Watanabe did indicate that the solution was a political decision, not a judicial one.

As to Valenciano he was recently asked by Council members Mel Rapozo and Kipukai Kuali`i to clear up the use of the word "shall" in a matter regarding the Kaua`i Salary Commission's March 15 deadline for submission of their yearly "recommendations." County Attorney Al Castillo had written an opinion that, in this case, ""shall" was used "administratively" and therefor has to be read as "should."

But when the two council members went before Valenciano's court, he also said that it was a political matter and not only didn't the two have standing but that they should look to changing the law to make things clear rather than asking him to essentially split a baby.

Does anyone think that in this case either of the judges are going to get involved? Both come from a government background and perspective, Watanabe having served as county attorney and in other government jobs and Valenciano having been a long-time council member, even running for mayor one time. Both have a healthy respect for letting the government wheels turn as freely as possible and apparently do not want to get involved in inter-agency squabbles like the one over who should discipline the chief.

The ball here is clearly and fully in the council's court...

Section 7.05 of the Kaua`i County Charter details the "Powers, Duties and Functions" of the mayor.
There are 13 "Powers, Duties and Functions" The very last one reads:

"M. Exercise such other powers and perform such other duties as may be prescribed by this charter or by ordinance. (emphasis added)."

This means that the council can actually pass an ordinance regardless of whether the charter defines a specific power of the mayor or not. This is somewhat unusual in that powers not designated in a controlling document cannot normally just be taken in an inferior document (such as the charter and an ordinance respectively)... unless, as it is in this case, it is specifically granted.

The council also has the power to put a charter amendment before the electorate via a resolution.

But either way the problem here is that it exists in the political realm. It is doubly political in that the council must make a political decision as to which entity they want to give that power to- whether they do so via an ordinance or a charter amendment.

Should they give it to the mayor or to the police commission? They will no doubt face criticism for doing either. If they passed an ordinance, first they would have to decide themselves which way to go. If they proposed a charter amendment, they could only propose one or the other for the electorate to vote for- there's no provision for having a referendum type of charter amendment- so they face the same dilemma.

In either scenario, if the council decides to spent the $10,000, the money is completely wasted.

And we're pretty confident that if they do approve the expenditure, we'll wind up with a nice "we told you so" to tack up on the wall with all the others.

At the time we had no illusion that the council would do anything the "easy" way. Then, as now, the seven councilmembers were and are all too aware that public opinion's on the side of the police commission. But not by as wide a margin as many may think.

Despite the brouhaha, Carvalho still has plenty of loyal political adherents who wouldn't take kindly to a charter amendment that would give the disiplining power to the commission.

Make no mistake- everyone in town has an opinion as to whether Carvalho was right or wrong and they're pretty adamant on each side... enough to make it a voting-decision issue.

As a matter of fact just proposing a charter amendment that would give one side or the other the power to discipline or suspend the chief would be a political hazard for councilmember... no matter which way they voted on whichever side the measure would give the power to.

No one on the council can afford to throw away a single "one vote" they're always asking voters to "save" for them. And with the popular former state Senator Gary Hooser in the race there is, with little doubt, going to be one eighth-place-finisher among the incumbents... a vote for one "side" or the other could be the determining factor as to who that "one" is.

The Charter Review Commission (CRC) is still, as far as we know, dithering as to whether to put a measure on the ballot- probably one giving the commission, not the mayor, the power. CRC Chair Sherman Shiraishi actually tried to ask the council what the commission should do earlier this year with no real response forthcoming.

So now that the suit has been filed, as the local newspaper noted this morning, it's conveniently out of the council's hands because supposedly no one is permitted to comment on the matter since it's a "legal" proceeding now.

The paper quoted one of the attorneys filing the suit as saying this.

(Corlis J) Chang said the case is not a complicated one, and they seek to have a 5th Circuit judge decide on who has the authority to discipline the chief of police. The mayor has one view and the police commission has a different view, she said.

“It’s a really simple issue and its one where there are two different viewpoints, and our goal is to get a resolution from the court,” Chang said. “This is straight forward and there are no other agendas here.”

But apparently it is about- well no actually, exactly- 10G's worth of complicated.

This though may just be the key quote in the article:

Chang said it’s very early in the case and once the mayor has responded to the summons they will submit their motions and wait to be assigned a judge and a hearing date. Then she said it would be a matter of presenting legal issues based on documentation and legal precedents.

Apparently getting a ruling that tells the council and police commission to stop wasting the court’s time with what is essentially a political decisions should take until... let's see, subtract the campaign contribution... carry the sign waver... divide by the stack of council certificates and awards... oh we'd say... about... Wednesday, November 7- the day after the election.

PLENTY OF NOTHIN'

PLENTY OF NOTHIN': It's gonna be the best of elections. It's gonna be the worst of elections.

Yes it's a dickens o' pickin's and a tale all too sh*tty when it comes to the most dismal number of candidates for the seven seats on the the Kaua`i County Council in memory. Yet on the plus side the enumeration of only nine names includes Gary Hooser, a politician who makes us reluctant to use the term to describe Gary since it's usually reserved for corrupt cronies and despicable despots.

Hooser, who started his public service career on the council from 1998-2002 before becoming the Kauai's State Senator from 2002-2010, is returning to his roots. His presence will no doubt bring the level of council discourse and accomplishment, if not to the highest rung of the ladder of good governance, a least out of the existing swirling sewer of percolating pestilence.

The problem is that the rest of the list is made up of the same old seven incumbent-hacks we've grown to, in some cases loath, in others tolerate, plus local and UH baseball hero, Ross Kagawa, who has two chances- the proverbial slim and none, with slim nursing a terminal illness.

So we're down to a proverbial game of musical chairs and the only reason to vote in the election- the one in November that is because all will get past the August 11 "primary"- is to see who gets dumped when Hooser is inevitably added.

While we are tempted to just "plunk" for Gary (a term for not using all seven votes and simply "plunking" down only the names of those who one truly likes) and may do so in November, for now we will list the rest of those running based on exactly how much of a worthless piece of crap each one is and why.

So for all you dumpers out there (and if you're not one, please register now) here's our list of dumpees in order of dump-worthiness.

1) Dickie Chang. This is probably the hardest choice- whether to make our good friend Dickie our least favorite or save that honor for Mel Rapozo. It's like trying to decide whether you like the guy who is repeatedly plunging a knife in your back or prefer the guy who is standing there watching, trying to decide when and whether to either encourage the stabber or condemn him... although it would certainly never occur to him too stop him.

Dickie is the proverbial man who, like former State Rep Ezra Kanoho for whom the phrase was created, "never met a hotel he didn't like." Dickie's penchant for lap-dog behavior- usually in the service of Chair Jay Furfaro- is infamous and when he does take a stand it is clearly taken with clay feet planted firmly on both sides of the fence. The one thing we can say about Dickie is that this is exactly what we expected from him. That of course makes-

2) Mel Rapozo the next one to not vote for. Mel manages to play politics with the simplest of no-brainers, using his unique blend of bamboozical logic and contortionistic, convoluted unreasoning as his moral compass- a compass that continually points in one direction... toward Mel. Perhaps the most emblematic representation of this bit of Kabuki is his recent attempt to change the charter because he didn't like an opinion from County Attorney Al Castillo’s office regarding the legal use of the word "shall." Rapozo didn't like what Castillo told him the law said and what the courts have consistently ruled on the matter, so he first tried to get his cohorts to hire Mel's own personal choice of outside lawyer to tell him what he wanted the law to say. When that failed he unsuccessfully tried to garner enough votes to put the matter before the electorate even though if it did pass it would be moot from the day it was enacted because it doesn't matter what our charter says when the state courts have already ruled on the matter.

Rapozo's "are-you-going-to-believe-me-or-your-lyin'-eyes" defense of Prosecuting Attorney Shaylene Iseri-Carvalho as she "took the fifth" and demanded a private attorney to represent her rather than openly discuss her budget with the council- has known no bounds, making for some fascinatingly fractured farces... quintessential Rapozo.

That brings us to the aforementioned "larger than life" (both girth-wise and in his own mind-wise) current Chair-

3) Jay Furfaro. Furfaro managed to eek out a 4-3 vote for chair last election, something that he may not be able to do with Hooser on the council. More on that later.

Furfaro is a throwback to the old style Hawai`i "orator" whose chest-thumping, credit-taking, egotistical style of expression is endlessly enigmatic to watch especially as lunch and sometimes dinner breaks are approaching. As the clock ticks toward noon it invariably throws him into incoherent ramblings and rushed decision making, commensurate with the decibel level of his stomach growling. To be fair, he is diabetic but his munching-vs-governing meter is out of whack even for someone who has "the sugar." Speaking of sweetness, the next on our bottoms-up itemizing is someone who turned out to be NutraSweet. That would be-

4) Kipukai Kuali`i. Kipukai was appointed after current State Representative and then Councilmember Derek Kawakami was appointed to fill Mina Morita's spot when she was appointed to be the head the Public Utilities Commission. People expected a lot from his "win" of 2010's post-election version of musical chairs and got virtually nothing. He has turned out to be simply a little less of a political animal than Rapozo and seems quite content to learn more at Mel's feet. Although he has gone after some of the more absurd council appropriations- when they suit his political bent- the last straw was his unshakable support for Iseri after she fired the Victim/Witness Counselors in her office. That eliminated the long-time county positions and instead she contracted out the duties to (drum roll please) Kualii's employer, the YWCA, ensuring his support before the council. He not only sold his political soul but he then refused to recuse himself from participating in the council's deliberations regarding Iseri. And speaking of disappointments there's-

5) Nadine Nakamura, although in her case disappointment may be a bit strong because we never expected any more than we got. The would be a politically malleable councilmember who doesn't seem to have a position on anything other than compromise, even when one of the options is at best unpalatable, at worst patently absurd. Her prime directive for the past two years has apparently been to take good legislation and introduce difficult-to-reject amendments that make the original unacceptable, even in cases when the votes are there for passage. Even if she did govern from a progressive viewpoint no one would know it because her experience as a facilitator and mediator have made her into a gutless wonder who makes one question whether there is any substance there at all. And speaking of substance there's-

6) Tim Bynum. Some would have him positioned at the bottom of this list for his effort to allow transient vacation rentals (TVRs) on Ag land, not to mention his previous work to allow them to be grandfathered on all otherwise zoned land. We can hardly ignore that and other positions he's taken. On the other hand he was, with then Councilmember Lani Kawahara, primarily responsible for the plastic bag ban and also successfully took on then Council Chair Kaipo Asing over open governance issues. What we can say is that at least they have apparently been taken because he believes in whatever he has supported. But if for no other reason than his persecution-prosecution by political enemy Iseri in the Ricecooker-gate scandal- an abuse of power on her part that we hope will end in November with the election of Justin Kollar (more on that race in a future post)- we have positioned him among the keepers this time. He could have folded but his persistence has unveiled alleged criminal activity on Iseri's part. All that pretty much also goes for-

7) JoAnn Yukimura. It's not that our disappointment with JoAnn has diminished to a level where we enthusiastically rate her the numero uno councilmember- although she has done some really good stuff recently.* But she also went along with Bynum on the Ag TVR issue and was the prime mover behind the grandfathering efforts, preferring to knuckle under to big money developers rather than go to court to enforce the laws apparently forbidding them.

We've questioned the consistency of those we have spoken to who were dead set against supporting Bynum due to the TVR debacle but were equally as supportive of Yukimura. We've simply asked them how they can condemn Bynum on that issue without doing the same for JoAnn.

All we can say is that is, on balance- and especially given the reality of the fact that six of the seven are going to be on the council whether we like it or not- we are forced to rate Bynum and Yukimura as "plunkworthy," to coin a term.

That leaves only one issue to be decided in November when it comes to the council race- the question of council leadership, which hangs in the balance.

After the 2010 election Yukimura challenged Furfaro for chair. Furfaro had Chang's, Rapozo's and, at the time, Kawakami's votes leaving Yukimura with Bynum's and Nakamura's.

In order to wrest control of the chair- assuming either Yukimura or possibly Hooser will challenge Furfaro and that Nakamura will maintain her vote for Yukimura- the addition of Hooser makes a change in the chair a distinct possibility. That also assumes that the odd-man-out is either Chang, Rapozo or Kuali`i. We can't be sure of Kualii's vote but suspect he is politically indebted to Furfaro after Furfaro gave procedural support to Kuali`i and Rapozo during some of the budget hearings regarding Iseri.

If the election were held tomorrow in addition to being shocked, surprised and totally taken aback, we would be forced to plunk for Hooser, Yukimura, Bynum and Nakamura since leadership is the only issue to be decided. But equally as important is NOT to vote for Chang, Rapozo, Furfaro or Kuali`i.

The August primary will tell us something about the strength of each candidate- it has always been like a super-accurate poll since 14 candidates usually get though to the November vote. In this case although all - and only- nine will make it through, we'll certainly know more about the strength of each by August 12.

One thing is all but certain- this mess of a council will make it through this year's election with six or seven intact. And while it gives us plenty to froth and foam about, any plans we've had to be a kinder and gentler rabid reporter may well end up, shall we say, going to the dogs.

*Correction: It was Tim Bynum who, along with Lani Kawahara, was primarily responsible for the single use plastic bag "ban," not, as we originally said JoAnn Yukimura who was not on the council at the time the bill passed. The original on line version has been corrected. We regret the error

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We are heartsick over the loss of Rose Schlegel, the daughter of our good friends Sherry and Jim (Pole) Pollock, who lost her life in an apparent freak accident in Kalalau Valley Wednesday. It is horrendous to lose any loved one but to lose a child, even one aged 30, is unimaginably tragic and their pain and sorrow must be unbearable. Please keep them in your thoughts and, if appropriate, prayers. It makes one wonder how such bad things can happen to such good people while selfish and mean people go unscathed. Don't forget to hug your loved ones, especially your keiki, today and every day. Life is fragile, seemingly especially for the righteous. We love you Sherry and Pole and will hold Rose in our thoughts forever.

(PNN) GARY HOOSER WILL RUN FOR OFFICE THIS YEAR; LEANING TOWARD COUNCIL THOUGH SENATE STILL A POSSIBILITY

GARY HOOSER WILL RUN FOR OFFICE THIS YEAR; LEANING TOWARD COUNCIL THOUGH SENATE STILL A POSSIBILITY

(PNN) -- Former Kaua`i County Councilmember and State Senator Gary Hooser will run for office this year according to a credible source with direct knowledge of Hooser's plans.

Hooser is strongly leaning toward running for council although a senate run is still a possibility. He is expected to "pull papers" Monday morning and file them later in the day.

Hooser currently serves as the appointed Director Office of Environmental Quality Control in the Abercrombie administration where he successfully fought off this year's legislative attempts to dramatically weaken HRS Chapter 343 environmental review laws regarding Environmental Assessments (EA) and Environmental Impact Statements (EIS).

If he decides on running for council he will be seeking to reclaim his old seat where he served from 1998 through 2002. As a councilmember he helped blow the lid off of Papa`a Bay mud slide in the original "Developers Gone Wild" grubbing and grading hearings, sponsored a charter amendment giving the council audit power and was instrumental in keeping access to Kealia Kai open 24 hours a day seven days a week without security guards.

He also led efforts to uncover and reveal the facts in the "Red Chrysler-gate" scandal during the Kusaka administration, when it was revealed that Kusaka had, at county expense, secretly leased an expensive luxury car from her former campaign manager.

Hooser served as Kaua`i senator from 2002 until 2010, the last four years as Senate Majority Leader.

As Senator, Hooser was the primary introducer and mover in the Senate to pass a first-in-nation mandate for solar hot water heaters. He was instrumental in passing legislation protecting farm lands from onerous "gentleman farms'" restrictive covenants and "brought home the bacon" leading to improvements to Na Pali trail, Kilauea School and Wailua Bridge. He also helped resolve the Koke`e lease issue enabling local residents to get first rights to the leases of state cabins there.

Hooser was the first to speak out against school furloughs, led the fight in the Senate for civil unions, and is a former Chair of the Democratic Party Environmental Caucus.

According to the source, Hooser has grown weary of the Honolulu climate and is looking forward to re-connecting to his island home and his friends here on Kaua`i. Hooser lives in Wailua Homesteads with his wife Claudette, two dogs, (Roxie and Hina), one cat, (Socks) and 5 chickens (Dolly and 4 unnamed Rhode Island Reds). He has two adult children, Dylan and Kelli-Rose.

For more information on Hooser go to http://www.garyhooser.com/ .

YOU REALLY GOTTA ASK

YOU REALLY GOTTA ASK?: Yeah, yeah, we know- hope springs eternal and all that stuff. But to tell you the truth it doesn't look good.

This year we just may find out what would happen if they had an election and nobody ran.

It's really hard to find anyone who isn't ready to throw the bums out this November, but usually there are plenty of new bums standing in line to replace them. Except, as the June 5 deadline for candidates to file approaches, other than incumbents, there is nary a Kaua`i legislative candidate who has even "pulled papers" much less filed them.

Despite the fact that all of of our legislators on Kaua`i voted for the dreaded bill that would have more or less repealed parts of HRS 343- the Hawai`i Environmental Protect Act (HEPA)- by exempting projects from local review, permitting, and of course public hearings, all thus far are running unopposed.

In State Senator District 8 Ronald D Kouchi, and in the House, State Representatives in District 14, 15 and 16, Derek S K Kawakami, James K Tokioka and Daynette S Morikawa (respectively) will get free passes if nothing changes, although we hear there may be a surprise announcement from a familiar name as the filing deadline approaches.

And while both incumbent Shaylene C Iseri-Carvalho and challenger Justin F Kollar have filed to run for Kauai Prosecuting Attorney, no one has filed to challenge any of the incumbent council members.

Six of the current seven- Dick S Chang, Joseph J Furfaro, Kipukai L Kuali'i, Nadine K Nakamura, Melvin Rapozo and Joann A Yukimura- have pulled papers with Rapozo and Kuali`i having actually filed them. But only three challengers- all pretty much unknown and with little chance of garnering enough support to oust any of the incumbents- have pulled papers and none of those has yet filed.

According to a Facebook page under that name, the first challenger, Christina Gutierrez-More of Kapa`a

is a Northern San Joaquin Valley, California native residing on Kauai for the past 9 years. She has been a dedicated mother of two and hardworking entrepreneur for the past 6 years. Her goal is to represent the Kauai people in issues that matter most to our island community. She is focused on positive growth, sustainability, renewable energy, affordable living and finding the means to support our ailing public school system and salvaging it's fundamental art programs. The natural beauty of Kauai and its residences' are dear to her heart and in her best interest. Please support her campaign and enable her to represent your community and make a stand for Kauai as a council member.

At a page called "Keikilane" a profile of someone named Leialoha L Sanchez- also of Kapa`a according to her filing- says

I was born in the Philippines to a Navy Captain, William Flores of Kailua and a domestic engineer, Debra Naihe of Waimanalo. I have 2 older brothers, Kalani and Kaipo and a younger sister, Ka’ohu. After the death of our father, our family relocated to Kaua’i. We spent the remainder of our childhood there and like most ‘ohana’s living in rural Hawai’i; we are “thick as thieves”. I am happily married to my best friend, Robin, who weird enough shares the same middle name as me. We have 2 beautiful flowers (girls) who add to our arrangement, Ka’uolani who's 7 years old and Kaumakakaihuia who will be 3 years old in December. The day I became a teacher was the day I became a mother.

In 1997, I moved to Hilo to further my education. I attended Ka Haka Ula o Ke’elikolani Hawaiian Language College at the University of Hawai’i at Hilo. I graduated with my Bachelors of Arts degree in Hawaiian Language with a minor in Pacific Island History. My Bachelor’s degree has allowed me to work in several Hawaiian immersion schools and other charter schools that serve Native Hawaiian students and or provides a Native Hawaiian perspective to its students.

Reflection

As a teacher, I found it to be true that education is the one constant in many children’s lives and has an immense influence in shaping the person they become. My work experiences have made more appreciative of education as a way of life rather than a career.

Assuming it is the same person who filed, Elizabeth K Toulon of Koloa is a scion of the kama`aina Knudsen/Toulon clan. According to "campaignmoney.com," she has given money to right wing PACS such as "Minuteman PAC Inc," an anti-immigration, "secure borders" organization and "Eagle Forum PAC," an anti-abortion PAC apparently under the control of Republican activist Phyllis Schlafly as well as to the brief 2008 presidential campaign of Elizabeth Dole, former Secretary of Transportation under President George W Bush.

And that it. Of course the deadline could be extended depending on a ruling from the federal courts- expected any day now- on the Hawai`i reapportionment plan. But that doesn't change the fact that no one seems interested in serving in office.

And who can blame them. As jobs go it's a real stinker and can be a career killer. The salary sucks for both legislator and council and, although each is considered a part time job, they take up most of your time and limit your employment choices because an "understanding boss" is a necessity.

Job security is a real conundrum. If you do keep getting reelected you then get pegged in the public's eye as one of those "professional politicians" that no one likes. As soon as you're an incumbent you're automatically just the latest bum to be thrown out.

Who needs it? Just to get started, as anyone who knows the drill will tell you, the first thing you need to do is get out your extensive address book and call 100 friends and ask them each for $100. If you can't do that successfully you better just forget it. And if you get that done then it's time to cold-call a list of another 1000 people and ask each of them for $100.

If you do happen to get elected- usually not because the voters especially like you but because they really dislike the other guy- every one of those people who gave you money is going to call you and ask you for something... usually something you'd rather not do. And if you want to get reelected you have to either do what they ask or figure out how to turn them down without pissing them off.

Of course that's not to mention spending every waking moment you're not at work at the high school girls' water polo games, Tutu's baby lu`au or Uncle's birthday and every other boring vacuous event you'd never in your right mind attend... oh- and walk up to and schmooze everyone there, even those assholes you'd never otherwise talk to.

Do you really need to ask why no one is running? We're surprised that anyone ever does.

SchMUSINGS

SchMUSINGS: It was actually a dark and stormy night. The rain was harder than the two feet in three days last weekend and hail was pelting the window so hard it woke us up. But we don't have dogs to walk, the electricity was off and the last time we saw the dawn- or even got up, got out of bed and went outside in the dark- was probably 30 years ago when seeing the sunrise was a result of an all-nighter. So we grabbed another blanket and some ear plugs, rolled over and went back to sleep.

Our apologies to Joan Conrow but since we're going to flit around and do it between games today it seems an appropriate way to commence.

First comes the news that former local Kaua`i newspaper editor Nathan Eagle, the other half of the dynamic duo, has landed a gig with his former cohort, joining ace reporter Mike Levine at Civil Beat.

No surprise on this end since whenever, against all odds, our local paper ends up mysteriously hiring someone even halfway competent, they eventually leave for a real publication. But congrats to CB and Nathan. We can only hope that maybe with two (count 'em two) ex-Kaua`i residents CB will treat Kaua`i like we exist.

Better news on the medical marijuana front. SB 2262 which "clarifies that the medical use of marijuana is considered to be consistent with the Pain Patients' Bill of Rights" has passed the senate and first reading in the house. Passage of the bill will mean that chronic pain patients will now have the right to receive medical marijuana in addition to all other appropriate medications.

That is coupled with the death of House Bill 1963 which was the horrendous effort courtesy of Assistant Director of the Department of Public Safety Keith Kamita- an effort also backed by Kaua`i Prosecutor Shaylene Iseri Carvalho- that would have actually removed chronic pain as a condition for which medical marijuana could be recommended. HB 1963 miraculously didn't get a hearing scheduled by the house Judiciary Committee.

Of course in the "now you see it now you don't" Hawai`i State Legislature, nothing is ever approved until it actually gets signed into law and nothing is ever-ever-ever really dead.

Then, from the "shocked-shocked" file, according to Civil Beat, Kaua`i State Senator Ron Kouchi has jumped on the ethically-bankrupt, legalized-bribery bandwagon by holding a Honolulu fundraiser during the legislative session. Last Night's soiree was a hundred-bucks-a-head affair held at the Mandalay restaurant.

Some states ban the practice of holding fund-raisers during a legislative session. But of course in catch-me-if-you-can-Hawai`i, legislators routinely cash in by holding these events in the hopes of scooping up some cash from those who have an interest in seeing the recipient's vote go a certain way on certain soon-to-be-considered bills. Since quid pro quo's are hard if not impossible to prove it's a practice that is looked upon with disgust by good governance and campaign reform mavens everywhere.

The fundraiser by-the-by is being organized by former Kaua`i Deputy County Attorney Harrison Kawate who worked under perennially county-government-employed former County Attorney Lani Nakazawa. We could go on with many more revolving door connections but the next game is starting soon.

Last but certainly not least is the latest dust up involving our always bafflingly buffoonish Prosecutor, the aforementioned reefer-madness adherent, Shaylene Iseri Carvalho.

Those who missed the real story behind the vague coverage in the local newspaper of the horse-abuse case will want to check in with the aforementioned Joan Conrow and read her coverage beginning last Friday.

Seems dear Shay actually threatened to use her prosecutorial discretion to drop the infamous animal cruelty case because one of the animal control officers at Kaua`i Human Society (KHS) got into a dust up with one of Shay's cousin over a complaint about the cousin's barking dogs and then his lack of dog licenses. Shay claimed the officer was trespassing and is a habitual liar whose testimony in the horse case would be unreliable, so Iseri wanted KHS to fire her.

It's a lot more juicy than that so read Joan's coverage.

But Iseri is back this week with more questionable behavior in a series of emails received by most of the attorneys on Kaua`i regarding the formation of a "Kaua'i Bar Bench Committee"- a "working group of attorneys [formed to] discuss and present issues to our judges [regarding] matters pertaining to judicial administration" according to one local attorney.

The group is being put together through the efforts of local attorney Rosa Flores who, after apparently putting in hours of volunteer time on behalf of the "Kaua`i Bar," innocently sent the following email confirming the "members" of the group, apparently "BCCing" almost all of the attorneys on Kaua`i

Subject: Re: KBA Bench Bar Committee Members

Hi Everyone,

I am very happy to announce the Bench Bar Committee Members. We are very fortunate to have had such an amazing amount of interest and support in the creation of this Committee.

Civil (Circuit Court): Dan Hempey
Collections (District Court): Tim Tobin
Landlord/Tenant, Self-Help Center, Legal Aid, Indigent Services: Emiko Meyers
Criminal Defense: June Ikemoto
Family Law: Caren Dennemeyer
Public Defenders: revolving
Prosecutors Office: revolving/unknown
County Attorneys: Justin Kollar
KBA President/Chair: Rosa Flores
KBA Vice-President/Vice-Chair: Shauna Cahill

The private attorneys on the Committee all wear many hats with various specialties, so we'll have a great overlap in coverage at all times. Please feel free to direct concerns, inquiries, comments, etc. that you would like to bring to the attention of our judges to the Committee member representing your particular area of interest. Everyone is also welcome to direct any inquiries to myself or Shauna Cahill anytime.

Committee Members, I will be in touch soon with all of you.

Thank you,
Rosa

This seemingly pleasant note, apparently following a lot of hard work on Flores' part, elicited a disturbing response from Iseri addressed Flores and CCed to around 75 local attorneys (with the original email in the thread) as well as the Kaua`i judges.

Subject: Re: KBA Bench Bar Committee Members

Aloha Rosa,

It would have been considerate of you to have contacted our office to inquire who would be the representative for the OPA because I would have told you clearly, that it would be me. Please put my name down as the representative of our office.

Shay

Okey-dokey. Apparently because the email was sent to the entire Kaua`i bar, Flores felt compelled to reply to the content and the tone of Iseri's response. She wrote:

Talk about a slap in the face for the best of intentions. Thank you for everyone else for their support in this endeavor, and to the volunteer representatives who took the initiative to contact me.

But Iseri wasn't done with Flores and, CCing the other, wrote back:

We did contact you. Your response is very unprofessional.

Unprofessional? Flores had had just about enough and felt she had to set the record straight. She wrote back saying:

As you very well know, I responded to you directly last week following your assertion that your agency should be represented, and in my response I agreed that your agency should be represented. No mention was made from you as to who would be the representative, and I do not have the time to hunt down attorneys from every possible section to see who is willing to attend the meetings. Yours was not the only agency which did not have name for their rep, but they were nonetheless indicated as being part of the committee.

If anyone else is offended that I did not put their names, please know that it was not intentional; my psychic mind-reading skills are not developed to the point at which I would like them to be. And I apologize for yet another unprofessional response from me.

Not having appeared rude and offensive enough Iseri first wrote:

It definitely is another unprofessional response.

finally adding

I also do not want to be a party to anymore unprofessional emails

Finally Flores realized who she was dealing with and ended the futile conversation by stating

Duly noted. Thank you and God Bless!

Isn't this an election year? Seems everyone knows that but Shaylene.

POLITICAL THEATER ON RYE... WITH MUSTARD PLEASE

POLITICAL THEATER ON RYE... WITH MUSTARD PLEASE: What with all the fun and games of the Iseri-Bynum circus of the absurd, the status and functionality of the Victim-Witness Program (VWP), the meat of the recent political sandwich, hasn't really received much press.

As we reported two weeks ago (January 12) according to a scathing letter to the Kaua`i County Council by Erin Wilson, a terminated Victim-Witness Counselor at the Office of the Prosecuting Attorney (OPA, the program is now dysfunctional due to the requirement that all communications with outside agencies and the world in general be channeled through Prosecutor Shaylene Iseri-Carvalho, the lack of communications between those performing VWP services and many other issues such as the 17 new faces at the OPA since Iseri came into office.

According to the agenda for last Thursday's council meeting, Council Vice Chair JoAnn Yukimura asked Iseri to come before the council to discuss "the status of the Victim-Witness Program and OPA." And when Councilmember Tim Bynum recused himself due to Iseri's prosecution of him for alleged zoning violations at his home- as we detailed yesterday- Yukimura took over the questioning that, according to Bynum, had been suspended in 2009 when then Chair Kaipo Asing stopped it.

But not before Iseri, trying to direct the show, dragged up her whole department to blow smoke up everyone's butts after demanding that Wilson be questioned, spurring Chair Jay Furfaro to remind her that he was the one running the show.

Instead Yukimura asked for current VWP employee Dianne Gauspohl-White to come up to tesfy. She pretty much backed up most of Wilson's complaints although saying she could only speak from her perspective.

At first Yukimura's questioning elicited mostly red-faced rage, bluster and misdirection on Iseri's part, complaining how she and her staff had to take valuable time to present information they had supposedly already presented.

But after Iseri's right hand man First Deputy Prosecutor Jake DelaPlane- who continually throughout the session pulled her butt out of the sling she had created through her own belligerence- did a PowerPoint presentation with lots of numbers and statistics but almost nothing on the VWP, the questioning of Iseri by Yukimura began, mostly based on Wilson's allegations.

Things were going along swimmingly (not) with Iseri parrying Yukimura's questions with non-responsive "answers" and continual reminders that she had already presented the requested material, when Yukimura finally asked the right questions and hit a jackpot of an answer.

"The Victim Witness Program no longer exists" Iseri told a stunned council.

Seems that Iseri has instituted a program called "vertical prosecution." Formerly deputy prosecutors were assigned to individual courts, not to individual cases. That meant that many times an attorney got the case for the first time when he showed up to court after a case had, for example, been moved from district to circuit court or from the court of one judge to another.

"Vertical prosecution" (VP) is a system where each case is assigned to one attorney who takes it from beginning to end, usually sorted by subject matter- drugs, violent crime, domestic, white collar crime etc.- supposedly creating attorneys with expertise in a certain area.

It actually sounds like a good and long overdue practice.

Under VP each individual attorney has a "team" assigned to him or her- a law clerk, and now, a Victim-Witness (VW) counselor.

And in Iseri's office that apparently has come to mean that there's no cross communication anymore between the various VW employees.

According to White and Wilson, VW employees are now tasked by the attorney who almost exclusively assigns them tasks like calling specific victims and witnesses to let them know about court dates, changes in case status and those kinds of things.

Apparently the actual "counseling" part has fallen through the cracks and not only that but the only victims and witnesses contacted by the counselors are those the attorney on the team tells them to call- and then only to communicate matters regarding the case status.

It used to be that VW employees met every month, traveled to conferences and did a lot of evaluation of whether and how services were being delivered to VWs. But that is a thing of the past with VP where counselors are now "team members" whose actions are dictated by either the attorneys in charge of the team or Iseri herself.

Whereas vertical integration is growing in popularity in the offices of prosecutors and district attorneys across the country- and, according to Councilmember and Iseri ally Mel Rapozo, is by far the most popular management scheme- robust victim witness counseling can wind up being be sacrificed.

Especially if a megalomaniacal, puerile, petty, vindictive, ego-driven prosecutor is the one running the show.

The rest of Yukimura's questioning revealed that, despite requests from the council that statistics and information be presented in an intelligible manner and one that addresses questions the council has- like how all the monies from the various VW programs from the county state and federal governments are actually spent- they are embedded in spread sheets and long narratives where there's little or no possibility of extracting the pertinent information.

It all ended up with DelaPlane- who had taken over much of the question-answering after Iseri's patented self-righteous, rage-filled and spittle-spewing attacks on the questions and questioner became self-defeating- promising to put the statistics in meaningful formats for the new budget... and, importantly, to provide the evaluation forms that victims and witnesses have filled out for those entities providing the grants, which had never been provided to the council previous to the request.

We can expect a repeat performance during the budget hearings starting in March when the OPA presents its budget. But more importantly we just may get some of the issues aired during this year's election campaign where current Deputy County Attorney for the Kaua`i Police Department (KPD), Justin Kollar, is challenging Iseri for the Prosecutor's job.

Iseri won her first and only term as prosecutor in 2008 running unopposed, leaving her position on the county council after four years there.

Although the community has suffered in all this, personally we can't be too distressed with the Bynum matter, the victim witness program questions and other brewing debacles promise that this summer will be anything but a dull one in this space.

So thank you Shay- you're a columnist's dream. So much so that we're torn between supporting Justin for the sake of the community or you for being the gift that keeps on giving.

YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE

YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE: "Math is hard" as the talking Barbie told us a decade or so ago to maker Mattel’s chagrin after the backlash by those concerned that the message that it sent to young girls was that it's okay to throw their math homework under the bus if they found it a little difficult- that and the fact that it's expected they would find it too arduous because, well, they are "only girls."

But when it comes to not following the law because it is "too hard" it's not usually an excuse for non-compliance. The defendant who claims it was tough not to kill his next-door neighbor because "he needed killin'" doesn't usually stand much of a chance in court.

But then those who think difficulty in following the law makes flouting it a bad idea have probably never been to Hawai`i where, more often than not, even the judges find degree of difficulty an excuse for being lenient.

So it was that, baffling to almost everyone, the Hawai`i state Reapportionment Commission came back with a plan last year that said that, despite the fact the Article IV Sect 4 of the Hawai`i State Constitution explicitly banned the use of non-residents in setting the boundaries of state legislative districts, they would include them because to exclude them was just way too hard.

When the Hawai`i Supreme Court ruled unanimously yesterday that the commission needed to redraw the districts with the constitution in mind it was indeed stunning when, according to the pay-walled Honolulu Star Advertiser "former state Judge Victoria Marks, the commission's chairwoman, said the panel will come up with a new plan, but said it is unclear how many non-permanent residents will be excluded."

Uh Virginia, apparently the number is... um, carry the seven... er, divide by negative eleven...ALL OF THEM.

But the quote that followed was, if possible more "in your face, Supreme Court." The article says that:

(Marks) said if the commission follows two proposals eliminating about 73,000 and 80,000 non-permanent residents, it could come up with a new plan quickly.

But if the commission cannot adopt those numbers or must consider the figure of 120,000 non-permanent residents the challengers request, it would be like "starting completely anew" and could pose problems meeting deadlines for this year's election.

Stunning indeed. Not only has the former judge decided that it would take a supreme court ruling to get her to follow the law but that she still apparently will be taking on the disgraced Barbie persona by trying to finagle non-compliance with a "math is hard" excuse.

For those who have failed to follow the issue, it's not a differentiation without a difference. O`ahu has enough military and students to give them an extra senate district that, if the constitution were to be respected, would otherwise go to the Big Island.

The deadline for commission action is February 1 when, by law, pols are supposed to be able to "pull papers" for office... assuming there is a list of offices for which they may run.

Sometime you've got to wonder. Unless you've lived in the islands long enough to just throw up your hands and decide that wondering itself is just too damn hard.

MEET THE NEW BOSS...

MEET THE NEW BOSS...: It wasn't that long ago that we all laughed at the prospect of former Governor Lingle running for senate whether Senator Dan Akaka decided to run again or not.

One debacle after another had left most of the state's voters with a distinct "don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out" attitude toward her future in Hawai`i politics.

And why not? In arguably the most Democratic state in the country she had cozied up to the national Republicans two years earlier, opposing our "native son" in the presidential race. Then she dissed every teacher and somehow every parent in the state too with her "Furlough Fridays" in a manner that belied her usual and notorious PR perfect pitch. She had made a show- one that no one really believed- of trying to convince people her veto of civil unions was a "tough decision." And no one had forgotten the SuperFerry debacle which left both sides blaming her for either trying to force the doomed-from-the-start "H4" down our throats or, in "entitled" Honolulu, bungling the effort.

Yet this week's archetypical Stepford Wife announcement of her candidacy caused not just the usually out-of-touch-with-Hawai`i-politics Cook Political Report to call the race a "toss-up" but had many local pundits treating her candidacy with credibility.

So assuming something changed, what was it? Still the same robotic and vaguely spooky Lingle? Check. Still the same predominately Democratic "fool me twice.. ya can't get fooled again" electorate? Check. Still the same draconian congressional Republican cabal that she cozied up to in '08? Check.

So what's the difference? It well may be the rocky row her replacement has hoed.

As Governor, Neil Abercrombie couldn't have mimicked more of her specific blunders if he tried. Suspending the state's environmental protection laws for fishy reasons? Although declaring an emergency to move Nene geese that had been causing the same problems at Lihu`e Airport for a decade isn't exactly the SuperFerry, it was the same thread of political expediency that runs through both in the minds of the electorate.

But in the one place where Abercrombie could have put a wedge between "what a Democrat in office will do" and "what the Republican did," his tin-ear handling of the teachers' union negotiations left many asking what the difference is.

Abercrombie's now infamous "I'm not your pal" statement to the unions and the viral YouTube screaming match with a nurse were followed by the same imposition of a contract and violation of the tenets of collective bargaining that caused massive protests at state capitols in Wisconsin, Michigan and Ohio after Republican governors in those states imposed similar anti-union measures.

Even though criticism of the actions of the teachers' union's tactics in fighting Abercrombie's unilaterally-imposed, force-fed contract got most of the press, the antipathy toward Abercrombie still simmers just beneath the surface among the unions whose support will be crucial if either Mazie Hirono or (god no) Ed Case is to send Lingle back out to national Republican pastures.

It's a long time between now and a year from November and it's said voters' memories are long in Hawai`i. But those memories are made not just in broad sweeping brush strokes but in the daily paint splotches and, to mix metaphors, once a crack appears in the veneer it's hard to plaster it over to keep the wood from splitting right down the middle.

Abercrombie would do well to keep, if not a low profile next January when the legislature meets, at least one that doesn't rock his own party's boat. Because if Hirono or Case loses to Lingle many Democratic fingers will be pointing his way and it will be a short two years until the '14 gubernatorial election where he'll need all the party support he can get.

CIRCUS BERSERKUS

CIRCUS BERSERKUS: Some are born buffoons; some have buffoondom thrust upon them. But either way they are generally harmless except in a bull-in-a-china-shop way.

One exception that proves the rule is Kaua`i Prosecuting Attorney Shaylene Iseri-Carvalho who is once again on the warpath against the scourge of medical marijuana according to an article by the latest functional illiterate on the staff of the local newspaper, Tom LaVenture

Seems Iseri is doubling down on her efforts to get the legislature to nix bills to move the medical cannabis program out of the Department of Public Safety (DPS) into the Department of Health- where all other such programs reside in their respective states- and provide "compassion centers" where patients with "recommendations" can legally purchase their medicine.

LaVenture's sycophantic write-up describes an August 30 gathering of the local befuddlery hosted by the mayor's anti-drug office where dangerously deluded DPS anti-drug honcho Keith Kamita joined Iseri in protecting their funding. In a scene out of Reefer Madness they engaged in rallying the diminishing troops to narrow the class of eligible patients to those who apparently are already dead.

But conspicuous by his absence was Deputy County Attorney for the Kaua`i Police Department, Justin Kollar who has announced a quixotic run opposing the malaprop- and spittle - spewing Iseri next year.

Kollar appearance last February at an equally absurd alarmist presentation before the county council in support of Kamita's and Iseri's agenda has, in the minds of many political observers, doomed his campaign despite the widespread voters' remorse since Iseri's election almost three years ago.

Although many believe a coconut could beat Iseri, Kollar is, in fact, a "malahini haole" going up against the notoriously racist Iseri who runs her department as a "locals only" club according to virtually anyone with inside knowledge of the department.

Kollar needs to make sure that people- especially the progressive community- actually have a reason to vote for him, not just against her. Although probably three-quarters of the island agrees that the state legislation is way overdue they need a reason to not just leave the ballot blank because they see no difference policy-wise on the issue.

Rumor has it that, despite Kollar's reported statement that “it is baffling and disheartening to see so much more effort being put into making more drugs available to more of our residents,” he has told people that he has softened his position and may support the compassion center legislation although he has yet to say anything new about any marijuana-related issues, such as the decriminalization bill that is also pending next January.

The problem is that people generally "only know what they read in the papers" even if the paper is a piece of crap. And the only issue upon which Kollar has really been reported to have taken a stand is to support the absurd notion that even if there are medical marijuana patients out there it should remain illegal for them to obtain their medicine.

Once the election season is here, the battle between the two promises to get exceptionally nasty with race taking a front seat in a whispering campaign that will make Mufi Hanneman look like Martin Luther King, Jr.

Right now the only thing Kollar has got going for him is that he isn't Iseri. But unless Kollar gets out front with his "new" position soon- assuming he really has one- it could be lost in a battle that gives new meaning to the word ugly.

WHO DAT MAN?

WHO DAT MAN?: Now that deputy county attorney in charge of Kaua`i Police Department (KPD) matters Justin Kollar has made his run for County Prosecutor official- opposing current Prosecutor Shaylene Iseri-Carvalho who had been thought to be mulling a run for her former county council seat but recently said she will stand for re-election- it's only fair to ask Kollar... "what are you nuckin' futz?".

While it appears that his work with KPD has Chief Darryl Perry gushing and Iseri has the community up in arms over her use of the office as a weapon of vindictiveness and race-based retribution, three year resident Kollar has about 17 strikes against him going in to the 2012 race.

Much as many would like to deny it, "running while white" still puts any candidate at a distinct disadvantage on Kaua`i even for well known long time denizens. But in a battle against Iseri- whose ethnicity-based hiring in the prosecutor's office is anything but a secret- the issue of race will inform the race more than any other.

And on Kaua`i that's still a losing proposition for any "haole."

Even though Kollar promises to "walk to every house on this island, if that’s what it takes"- and of course that, minimally, is what it would take- the long-awaited "changing demographics" on Kaua`i is still a futuristic paradigm that FOB candidates believe in at their peril.

But even if the majority of the voting populace were to be suddenly blanched, Kollar has pretty much cooked his goose with his rabid anti-marijuana activities this past legislative session when he participated in Iseri's rally to block medical marijuana reform, cutting into any possible widespread support from progressive Caucasian voter.

It harkens back to the time when local attorney William Feldhacker thought the demographics had changed enough for him to challenge them-prosecutor Ryan Jimenez a couple of eons ago. Despite the fact that many saw Jimenez as lackluster in his performance, Feldhacker- then the preeminent criminal defense attorney on the island- came up way short, after taking an "how can I possibly lose to this guy" approach to the race.

It isn't even just the medical marijuana issue as far as drugs go. Kollar seems to be a nut for interdiction in an age when there have been so many families touched by their kids' drug problems that most see the fact that scarce dollars go to a "lock 'em up and throw away the key" approach to hard drugs like methamphetamine and not to treatment, as a failure of public policy that, in many cases, has destroyed their family as much as the drug abuse itself.

The shame is that the scourge that Iseri represents begs for change at the ballot box next year. But the reality is that it's hard enough to get someone to challenge an incumbent prosecutor without having to deal with a three-way race where they'd have to split the anti-Iseri vote with Kollar.

One thing we can count on- given that Kollar was among those fired by Iseri for "practicing law while white" this race will get ugly. Which, while great for a curmudgeonly columnist, is anything but for a community that sorely needs a justice-based office of the prosecutor.