Tuesday, July 7, 2009


SCOOBY ON THE CASE: Our excoriation of the “out with the old in with the even older” rehiring of, if not disgraced, at least disgraceful excuse for a journalist Paul Curtis as the police and courts reporter at the local newspaper, filled our inbox with a few other stories of Curtis’ lack of acumen and talent.

But in an un-bylined rewrite of a county press release today it appeared at first blush that his knack for lack of clarity was apparently rubbing off.

Here’s the “news” as the paper reported it:

A 25-year-old Lihu`e man was arrested after attempting to sell stolen jewelry at a pawn shop.Roger Parks, owner of the Gold and Silver Trading Company in Lihu`e, recognized the jewelry as his own and called police to report the incident while the suspect was still in the store, a county news release said Monday.The man was arrested Thursday for second degree theft and released pending further investigation.Parks told police that he discovered Thursday morning that the jewelry was missing from his vehicle which was parked in the parking lot of his Lihu`e condominium. Park had left the jewelry in the trunk of the vehicle the night before, the release says.

Huh? What the heck was Parks doing at this pawn shop when the man tried to sell the jewelry? Was it a miraculous coincidence? Was he there checking to see if anyone had pawned his jewelry? There certainly must be more to the story.

But a check of the county press release shows that the lack of clarity was anything but the paper’s fault although you’d think that they would check the details before regurgitating whatever the county PIO told them.

Well the Hercule Poirot’s among you may have figured it out by now but it took the Honolulu Star Bulletin to make it clear in their re-write:

Pawnshop owner pitched his own jewelry

Kauai pawnshop owner Roger Parks had more than a hunch that the jewelry a man was trying to sell was hot.

Parks recognized the jewelry as his own -- stolen the night before from his vehicle, parked at his condominium in Lihue.

Parks, owner of the Gold and Silver Trading Co. in Lihue, called police while the suspect was waiting in the store trying to sell the stolen merchandise. (emphases added)

Police arrested a 25-year-old man Thursday for second-degree theft.

The man was later released, pending further investigation.

Parks told police he discovered Thursday morning that the jewelry had been stolen.

“Now zat I hev all zee articles here in one room, zee mee-star-ee ees no mee-star-ee at all. Eet is YOU Roger Parks zat ees the ownah of BOTH see pawn shop AND zees Gold and Seelver Tradeeng Companee because- een fact zey are one and de same!

“Now Madam Murphy tell me about zeeze overalls een your chowder.


Unknown said...

The re-write of the story below was even worse. A guy threatens the police with a machete and it's in the fourth paragraph? And they mention he was Tasered in the sixth? And neither of them are in the headline? That is absolutely terrible, and there's no excuse.

Blahblahblah said...

eh. you're reaching a bit here. Wait for a real hack job before you lose your water. It's only a matter of time.

It's a bit tortured, but the article does say Parks was the owner of the Gold and Silver Trading Co. which is the pawn shop in question. Didn't take too many brain cells to put it all together. Paul just isn't that good a rearranging press releases.