SILENT BUT DEADLY

SILENT BUT DEADLY: We're old enough to remember when there were still "water closets"- those big boxes installed way up on the wall above toilet bowls that, when you pulled the chain, released a torrent of water so noisy that everyone in the restaurant had to pause conversation until the sound of the flash flood had subsided.

When the W/Cs were removed, their replacements were still loud but at least they weren't conversation halters. And now of course we have the ultra-silent modern toilets that barely make a sound.

But for the most silent flush of all, you had to attend last Wednesday's Economic Development Committee meeting of the Kaua`i County Council.

For those who are new to these pages, it was all part of the latest "Gush and Flush" as we've come to call them- sessions where councilmembers fall all over themselves to throw money at Kaua`i Visitor's Bureau and associated events, first gushing over what a great job Director Sue Kanoho is doing and then promising to flush another hundred grand or so down into the cesspool of tourism promotion.

No matter what the economy has done to our "biggest industry" in recent years- biggest only if you count all the money that never sees the shores of Kaua`i- it's always a wonder to behold what a great job Kanoho has done with the money the council appropriated, even though there has never been a verified connection between each flush and the council's subsequent gush.

Two years ago Kanoho told the council how "down is the new up" followed by "flat is the new up" last year. And of course with occupancy up and numbers of direct flights to Kaua`i increasing, Kanoho and her county overseer, Economic Development Chief George Costa, were all too ready to breath in the wondrous air of success even though they, as always, couldn't show any correlation between whatever the figures are and the taxpayer money spent on promotion.

And, as they are wont to do, the council couldn't contain themselves at the election-year-news that their foresight in appropriating the money was rewarded with such rousingly successful promotions.

The council of course knows someone is watching occasionally so this time they conveniently failed to post the agenda on-line until the Monday before the meeting so that not only wasn't the agenda item in the local newspaper but those who get the agenda via an emailed link didn't get it until Tuesday. That meant that nitpickers Glenn Mickens and Ken Taylor, who have been trying to publicly point out all of this for years, didn't even know there was a meeting much less the subject of it.

There was one attempt to counterbalance the obscene self-congratulatory proceedings by Gusher-In-Chief, Councilperson JoAnn Yukimura, who asked for proof that increases in occupancy were somehow correlated with the million dollars in "stimulus money" the council threw at KTA over the last couple-a few-years or so.

And, as if Yukimura didn't know the answer, Kanoho was all too happy to inform her that those numbers were "proprietary."

"So I shouldn't be happy to see high occupancies because they aren't real?" asked Yukimura.

Kanoho hemmed and hawed and was about to launch into one of her patented ebullient doubletalk explanations when Yukimura baled her out to let her know that she was only questioning the occupancy numbers because they had to be accurate or any semblance of validity for purposes of the newly-enforceable general plan- due for update this or next year- would be a joke.

Well, at least she seems to have a firm grasp of the obvious.

Usually one gush and flush is enough for one day but since they had gone to all the trouble of making sure no one knew what was on the agenda, they also revisited the cash they have been throwing at The Kaua`i Marathon for many years... money that, we were apparently assured at the last meeting, wouldn’t be forthcoming anymore.

Anyone expecting what was said six months ago by councilmembers to be repeated again without someone sitting there at the testimony table and reminding them of it was sorely disappointed. Apparently, the $120,000 that was off again, on again, off again is now on again, pending approval at budget time when the appropriation won't stand out like a sore thumb among all the rest of the cash thrown at the county's woes.

Actually- and we're somewhat guilty of burying the lede here- there was a bit of news from the meeting from Councilmember Mel Rapozo who somehow got to bring up the subject of the Wailua Golf Course. Unbelievably enough, in the year 2012, they don't take credit cards.

Yet increasing the number of rounds played by tourists has been the focus of the council and administration for a decade as the amount of taxpayer money the county has had to use to subsidize the supposedly self-sustaining golf course has grown almost every year in that time to around a half-million bucks in this year's budget.

Rapozo pointed out how many, himself included, use ONLY credit cards when they travel and don't ever use ATMs because they doesn't trust them.

Kanoho then announced that the county had finally, at great expense, gotten an ATM machine at the course. But that doesn't help people who want to book a round from the mainland and it really doesn't help those without a debit card because the amount charged for a "cash advance" on credit cards can be exorbitant.

Kanoho at first claimed that they now take credit cards only to be told by Rapozo that staff had called that very morning to verify that credit cards were still not welcome at the golf course.

The way the gush and flush works best is when no one bothers to challenge it. Only then does the modern silent toilet work to cover-up the stench of the way we throw money at tourism without any indication it does thing-one to bring more visitors here... assuming indiscriminate urging of Kaua`i visitation is what we want in the first place rather than cultivating a niche in a directed, precise- and of course verifiable- manner.

There's a well known hoax that claims that the flush commode was invented by a man named Crapper. But those who think that's the biggest lie in potty history have never been to an economic development session of the Kaua`i County Council.

(PNN) SULLIVAN NAMED KAUA`I ENERGY COORDINATOR; WILL RESIGN KIUC POST

SULLIVAN NAMED KAUA`I ENERGY COORDINATOR; WILL RESIGN KIUC POST

(PNN) Kaua`i Island Utilities Coop (KIUC) Board Member Ben Sullivan is resigning to take the newly created Energy Coordinator job with the County of Kaua`i, according to a Facebook post by Sullivan.

He will begin working on December 19 to carry out the recently completed Kauai Energy Sustainability Plan.

"I am excited about the new position," Sullivan wrote in the post. "I will be working within the Office of Economic Development, with one of my major responsibilities being planning & implementation of energy efficiency & conservation programs for the County. Will be working on PUC issues, advocating on County energy issues to the State leg., working with the Council, and a lot of other cool stuff (helping integrate electric vehicles, etc.) I will also be pursuing grants for County energy projects and working with the team on strategy and implementation of (The Kauai Energy Sustainability Plan) KESP. Dream job, I'm jazzed up about it."

According to KIUC's by-laws, their board will appoint a replacement to complete Sullivan's term.

According to the website of the Kauai Planning & Action Alliance (KPAA), which helped develop the KESP, it "was developed for the County of Kauai by SENTECH Hawaii LLC with assistance from Maurice Kaya LLC and Kauai Planning & Action Alliance (and) integrates stakeholder and public input with objective energy analysis to create an implementable energy plan intended to offer guidance for Kauai to utilize local, sustainable, renewable energy. "

Sullivan will be working under the head of the Office of Economic Development George Costa in the administration of Mayor Bernard Carvalho, Jr.

RUNNING OUT ON THE TAB

RUNNING OUT ON THE TAB: We'd almost forgotten that Sunday was the day of the new Kaua`i "signature event"- supposedly replacing the "Grand Slam of Golf"- much less the shenanigans surrounding it, until that evening when Channel 9's own grinning idiot Keahi Tucker showed up on the screen proclaiming the Kaua`i Marathon a roaring success.

But at least it was something; other than that, there was nothing-nada-zippo off-island PR for an event supposedly designed to attract attention to the island for tourism purposes.

And of course the real news- that this was a make or break year for the problem-plagued race after Kaua`i taxpayers poured another $270,000 down the money-eating rat hole- is nowhere to be found.

Instead Tucker grinned and gushed his way through a short, on-scene, fluff report with no news of past financial improprieties while cryptically proclaiming that "you get a feeling that there’s going to be more in the years to come."

As those who followed the story of the county funding of the event last spring found out, not only has race founder Jeff Sachini said he would pull his funding of the race if it didn't turn a profit by this, the third year, but apparently race organizer Bob Craver had never filed, much less paid, excise taxes on the first two races. Craver was also apparently so busy schmoozing councilmembers for more cash, he was too busy to even apply for available Hawai`i Tourism Authority (HTA) money (councilmembers and the administration had to do it for him at the last minute in order to knock 50 grand off the county's "contribution").

But it seems no one in the media seemed to be interested this weekend in asking about any flim-flam. The only coverage other than Tucker's brief dottering, doting, dufus routine were a couple of fluffy "results" articles in the local newspaper's sports section.

Both articles however did tout how two people had split a previously unclaimed special $15,000 prize for breaking the two and a half hour mark, with neither noting that this only put accounts further in the hole.

As far as the future- where, now that the race is over, marathon organizers are poised to collect another $120,000 check from the county for the 2012 race with no guarantee it will even happen- news about the financial fate of this year's race is utterly absent from the corporate press except for a declaration from Tucker assuring his viewers it was indeed a success.

After losing $350,000 on the first two races, it sure doesn't look like Sachini will make up this year's losses again and thekauaimarathon.com is unsurprisingly quiet on the matter.

The big question is whether anyone is even interested in seeing a spread sheet for the 2011 event. There apparently aren't any accurate ones for the first two races after Craver cravenly tried to submit to the council some mish-mosh of vague "items" that didn't even add up, as the council noted at the time.

As a matter of fact, if past is prologue, losses just might be around... let's see- carry the crook, divide by the bureaucrat, subtract the political considerations... oh about $120,000 this year. Now let's see- where did we see that number? Oh yeah, that was the amount of the check for next year's improbable race that Craver is supposed to pick up as early as today from Office of Economic Development cheerleader and last-place half-marathon entrant, George Costa- who last May seemed more interested in defending Craver's apparently sloppiness, if not misdeeds, than in protecting the taxpayer's assets.

Don't expect marathon organizers to volunteer any information, especially because no one in the media seems to be interested.

And if it turns out that there's more malfeasance on Craver's part, don't expect the council to do any digging into why they just gave him $390,000 for this new "signature event" that turns out to be a forgery.

PLUMBERS HELPER

PLUMBERS HELPER: Perhaps the most unpleasant experience in the world is that certain kind of indigestion that you get when a meal makes putrid oral reappearances over and over with each re-tasting more revolting than the next.

It's similar to the experience you get when watching our county council do "the old gush and flush" every time Kaua`i Visitor's Bureau chief Sue Kanoho and county’s Director of Economic Development George Costa make an appearance in the council chamber.

Last Wednesday was yet another re-re-regurgitation as the council gushed over how well the duo flushed the latest appropriations for tourism promotion down the proverbial crapper.

Apparently the council is still skittish at re-revealing the latest $200,000, with furious glances exchanged at Kanoho's cryptic "oh I shouldn't have mentioned that" reference to the latest flush before Chair Jay Furfaro finally made reference to it.

As we reported in January regarding the meeting on the 19th:

Things were off to a bad start when it was revealed that the way this worked was not with Kanoho coming to Mayor Bernard Carvalho- who proposed the bill- and asking for certain amounts for certain “programs” but rather the mayor telling her we had $200,000 to spend and asking her to come up with ways to spend it, according to Costa.

And astonishingly enough expenditures for the six “programs” added up to $200,000.

Previous gushing had them all taking credit for the lack of any increase in tourism numbers- after spending $2 million- with truly preposterous axiom that "even is the new increase." So of course this time, even though tourism has rebounded slightly across the state, Kanoho and Costa were equally ready to take credit for the Kaua`i increase.

Then it was the council's turn to perform what's called "Lihu`e Yoga"- contortionist back patting in taking credit for spending our money on it.

As usual there was no evidence whatsoever of any cause and effect- especially the "kama`aina campaign" to promote interisland travel- although a picture of a few hundred people gathered in Alberta Canada at a trade show for a "must be present to win" drawing for a free trip to Kaua`i was presented as evidence of effect.

And once again Kanoho had to mention the "American Girl Kanani doll" promotion we mentioned in January claiming proof that it worked because she saw someone get off a plane with the doll- a doll which we have since learned is made in China.

How much is going straight down the cesspool next fiscal year? Well, miracles of miracles the usual county appropriation to KVB of around $150,000 has been cut to $75,000 in the current budget but that decrease may well be made up for with another round "emergency" spending to promote the airlines and resorts.. with zero monies coming from those industry biggies.

Just another day in the glad-handing "nothing to see here- go back to your homes" latest version of our county council.

Makes you proud to be voter, don' it?

MR. GREEN AND MR. BROWN

MR. GREEN AND MR. BROWN: The trap-door to the rat hole opened wide again at last Wednesday’s council committee meetings as the latest in a series of what we like to call “gush and flush” sessions found the council doing the gushing over the Kaua`i Visitor’s Bureau’s (KVB) proposed flushing of $200,000 into the cesspool of unaccountable tourism promotion.

But if you thought the council was giddy over the last two-part million dollar money toss- as we discussed here, here, here and here- this time, with the departure of former Councilperson Lani Kawahara, the council unanimously managed to fall over each other to praise KVB’s Sue Kanoho and the county’s Director of Economic Development George Costa, despite the fact that there was no mechanism for any check on whether any more tourists came as a result of the spending.

Things were off to a bad start when it was revealed that the way this worked was not with Kanoho coming to Mayor Bernard Carvalho- who proposed the bill- and asking for certain amounts for certain “programs” but rather the mayor telling her we had $200,000 to spend and asking her to come up with ways to spend it, according to Costa.

And astonishingly enough expenditures for the six “programs” added up to $200,000.

One of the most bizarre was $20,000 for a thinly explained plan to latch onto something called the “American Girl” dolls fad, an uber-high-end giant Barbie complete with clothes and, in the case of the latest model, a Hawaiian “Kanani” model replete with a paddle and paddle board (items sold separately) as well as a fake newspaper “The Hawaiian Breeze" which apparently mentions Kaua`i along with our mythical town of “Waipuna”.

There was a plan to go to some stores and “enhance” in-stores displays but no mention of how there would be any tourists who come here because of the expenditure- as opposed to the doll itself- although Councilperson Nadine Nakamura said she was “very excited” about it because her daughter went though the craze and so, she suspected, it would induce “upscale” visitors to come.

Yup that’s what we elected her for- basing spending decisions on personal anecdotes.

The other five programs were all proposed with no absolutely no way to check whether they attracted even one visitor and not one councilperson asked about how they knew their money was being “well spent”- a phrase repeated ad nauseum.

We say “proposed with” because Kanoho and Costa had one worry- even though they had apparently been assured that no one on the council had any qualms about the effect of the expenditure, the last time out their presentation had been ruined, not just by the now-departed Kawahara but by “nitpickers” Glenn Mickens and Ken Taylor.

So they set up a special meeting with them to get them to go along with the program.

And that seemingly worked because Mickens, seemingly in exchange for his support, insisted on some feedback.

According to Kanoho, “because of Glenn Mickens- and solely because of Glenn Mickens” in the KVB “surveys” that you see being given at the airports by clip-board bearing minions, they will now ask if they came due to the “American Girl” doll or due to seeing a movie shot on Kaua`i ($10,000 was budgeted for “film promotion press trip")... although there was no direct connection between that and the money spent.

But the real topper came when Councilperson Mel Rapozo- who also failed to ask about feedback or any way to rate the success of the six programs- brought up the horror of visitor complaints, especially ones that go viral like what he described as a “Facebook video” (which we couldn’t find- anyone got a link to this?) on the horrendous condition of the boarded up, cesspool overflowing bathrooms at Salt Pond.

That elicited defensive spiels by Costa and Kanoho about how whenever a complaint comes up that threatens to get spread either by word of mouth or online, they take the time to follow-up by- get this- making sure the tourist at least gets an explanation or apology or some kind of as, er, ring kissing.

Yes, they reiterated we do “follow-up.”

But the council, sensing an opportunity to look like they were doing their jobs, did pick up on this one and started asking the two if they actually followed up with the appropriate administration department- usually public works- to make sure that these complaints-waiting-to-happen were fixed in a timely manner... like with the Salt Pond cesspool that took weeks to pump whereas anyone else gets theirs pumped the next day.

After a series of back and forths with the council asking if they “followed up with the administration” and the two saying “yes, we followed up” with another story about calling or emailing the person who complained, Council Chair Jay Furfaro- never one to miss an opportunity to make it look like a good idea was his- directed Costa to “make that phone call” to the administration next time he gets a complaint.

With committee passage the council’s hand is now poised on the lever and this Wednesday they will complete the flush when, to no one’s surprise, they pass the bill without even ascertaining if anyone actually came due to the million dollars of taxpayer money they threw away last year.

The bigger question of course is why the hotels, the airlines, the resort developers and the rest of the tourism industry that takes literally billions off island can’t do they own spending or give KVB the money and why KVB has to beg the council for cash from the county’s coffers.

We’re not holding our breath for that- although it would be nice to breathe clean air without having to flush $200,000 down the crapper to cover the stench of these KVB-served and council-swallowed turds.

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL: Really? “Rock bottom” as we said yesterday in describing the latest version of the worst newspaper in the world?

Just take a gander at the hook, line and sinker swallowed by “government beat” reporter Leo Azambuja in regurgitating statistics purporting a wondrous job in using the second half-million-dollar county tourism stimulus toilet-flush presented by Sue Kanoho of the Kaua`i Visitors Bureau and the county economic development director George Costa.

The story of the “amazing success” Kanoho claimed at Wednesday’s council meeting in bringing more visitors to the island was an example of the worst of the worst in covering government- the unabashed unquestioning rote re-recital of governmental double-talking bulls—t.

Anyone who has been following the story knows that, as we wrote about here, here and here last year, accountability and actually being able to correlate the dollars spent to any increase- if there was one- in tourists and the resulting dollars spent was deemed essential, if not by the council by the many taxpayers who spoke out at the time .

But of course when Kanoho’s presentation didn’t include one verified example of anyone who came as a result of any promotion- with one exception: the $30,000 spent on the “South Pacific” Mitzi Gaynor appearance- the council just sat and applauded like the trained seals they are.

Seemingly Kanoho and Costa just pulled any-kine numbers and plugged them in to show their self-declared “success”, even admitting in the case of the so-called “radio blitz” that the only thing they could report as “attributable” to the money spent is through an anecdote Chamber of Commerce honcho Randy Francisco reported after talking to someone in a bar who said they came as a result of the promotion

The worst waste was in using half the money to bribe the “top six producers” of “on-line bookings”- sites like Orbitz and Priceline. The problem is that these sites don’t actually report how many bookings were made as a result of our money being spent or provide any proof that it was a successful “buy” because, as the council knew last year when they approved the money, that information is “proprietary”.

What a scam.

Kanoho admitted that their “coupon book”- one of those pseudo-discount buy a thousand dollar item and get a two cent piece of crap for free promotions- was disastrously unsuccessful... something that many told the council in no uncertain terms would happen last year.

One of the most ridiculous parts of the presentation- one of course unquestioned in the newspaper article along with all of these examples- was the “Northwest media blitz” and trade show appearance by Kanoho and a slew of other Kaua`i people.

Kanoho actually said that although it was “hard to track” Francisco “put 1200” as the number of attributable tourist trips with apparently no real reason to think it was correct.

As a matter of fact each item was “hard” or “impossible” to track according to Kanoho although that little fact was distinctly missing from the newspaper coverage.

What we saw happening at Wednesday’s meeting- something those who read the “newspaper of record” will never know- was a presentation of a series of made-up, pulled-from-their-asses numbers that had absolutely no verified, documented correlation to the money spent.

The real shibai though wasn’t Kanoho prevarications or Azambuja’s incompetence but the council’s attempt to justify the million they spent in making sure the business community and CofC crowd will fill their campaign coffers this year, and wasting (read: stealing) a cool million (half was spent last year in the same manner) taxpayer dollars to do it.

Their performance Wednesday- especially that of tourism industry shill Dickie Chang who engineered the whole debacle- in oohing and ahing at Kanoho’s faux success was just what you’d expect on Kaua`i.

Did anyone really think councilmembers were going to aggressively seek answers that they didn’t want to hear, specifically regarding their use of a million dollars that didn’t do a damn thing- and do it at a time when they just furloughed county employees for two days a month?

It’s open season for the council lies and secrecy and with no one to call them on it. And they know it. Don’t ya just love this town?