ROUND UP THE STRAYS

ROUND UP THE STRAYS: We promised ourselves a week without writing about the StupidFerry but, like Michael Corleone said in Godfather III, “Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in” (google, baby).

But an article in today’s ‘Tizer headlined “Superferry awaits signal from Kauai; Community can decide for itself if it wants service, new CEO says”
was so hilarious we couldn’t resist.

According to the article by fine investigative reporter Rob Perez “(i)f the Superferry were to get some kind of signal from the community, especially from leadership, that service is desired, the carrier would respond to the request, (New Superferry CEO. ex- Navy Admiral Thomas) Fargo said.

“Asked what would constitute a signal from the community, Fargo said: ‘There'll be a momentum or view by the community that they would like Superferry service.’ He added that he wasn't sure how that view would be communicated.”

This may start a whole new metering of the venture adding to Brad Parson’s famous Barf-o-meter, - a Bozometer to see how close Fargo, the new clown-in-chief can come to the fired poster-child for how-not-to-do-business-in-Hawai`i John Garibaldi.

According to the article, current top court-jester, formerly respected journalist “Lori Abe, a spokeswoman for the Superferry, said the company is continuing to talk with community members on Kaua`i.”

The article includes ridicule of the idea that there is anyone on Kaua`i to even “talk to” about bringing the leaky military boondoggle to our island, through an interview with State Senator Gary Hooser.

The article says:

At least one Kaua`i politician suggested that the company is still unwelcomed by many people on that island.

Sen. Gary Hooser, D-7th (Kaua`i, Ni`ihau), said the percentage of Kaua`i residents opposed to the Superferry probably hasn't changed much and likely won't change much until the company shows it is reliable and forthright with the community.

"The Hawaii Superferry needs to prove itself in terms of reliability, service and community commitment first, and they haven't done that on Maui," Hooser said. "It's proven to be unreliable."

Hooser also said he was unaware of the Superferry doing any significant outreach to community groups on Kaua`i over the past few months, something that will be key to repairing relations and gaining support.

Yet somehow Fargo- like a Diogenes-in-reverse, looking for one dishonest person on Kaua`i who will somehow use their lack of position to defy the community- is back at it trying to find someone, anyone, to “talk to”.

Similar to Garibaldi’s last gasp earlier this year, this renewed PR push- using media outlets that have been enriching themselves through ubiquitous StrykerFerry advertising- is admittedly having a tough time finding anyone with any credibility to even approach.

Last time after an email petition of hundreds of those who had worked for an “EIS first” said “we don’t want to hear it” (this even before Act 2, the legislative suspension of the National and State Environmental Protection Acts) the Leakyferry gave up. But this time they have according to Joan Conrow and now other sources, sought and are soliciting one someone named Paul Clark, a member of Save Our Seas who teaches Ocean Science at Kula school despite the fact that no one who has opposed the Pukerferry ever heard of him during the heyday of opposition.

And there are rumors-spread apparently from the bottomless unreported-until-found-to-be-cheating PR lobbying HSf money pit, that the Kaua`i Council might be considering a “resolution”. But no matter how dumb the Seven dwarf-brains are they are not dumb enough to piss-off everyone in town during an election year and put something on their agenda guaranteed to set new records for public attendance and acrimonious testimony at a Council meeting.

Right now Councilman Mel Rapozo has a web site with a poll asking “Do you think the Superferry should return to Kauai?” which is running “no”-65, yes”-8.

But speaking of the Mafia, what stood out to us was this quote from Fargo which might be funnier and more bizarre than the Cohen brothers’ movie that shares a name with him.

“Asked if the recent change in management — Fargo replaced John Garibaldi as president and chief executive — was an indication that Superferry investors were unhappy with where the company was at this point, Fargo said the carrier had gone through an expected shakedown period and was now entering the operational phase, for which his expertise with complex maritime operations would be beneficial.”

A shakedown? You mean like when gangsters use threats to get you to pay them their due so you don’t get beat up? Why how nice of Fargo to admit that’s what Garibaldi was doing all along- “Yooze betta let us in- yooze wouldn’ wanna see ya kids beat up by our Coast Guard and the guvner’s private navy would ya?”

Give up already and leave us in peace.